It's been a good day and I feel content right now. Although I'm not completely over my bronchitis, I was able to work a full day without problem. Slight coughing here and there, but not much. The contrast of having days when I can't work due to illness makes the days when I'm able to work feel fantastic. Dan said something in an email to me about my "liking to work hard." I guess that's true, but my self worth is also very tied up in being able to be a productive member of society. In some of the days over the past few weeks when I couldn't work I felt depressed about being "out of the loop" of the world and a noncontributor to society. I felt like the tree in the forest that falls over when no one is around.
Seeing my clients and friends does make me feel alive and come alive.
I had a wonderful Thai dinner with TB tonight. It was so much fun to eat and talk, get caught up. I ate like it was going out of style! And while I have my appetite, I've been trying to schedule some lunches and brunches with friends over the next week, up until my next chemo. I realize that a lot of my most fun socializing with friends and family involves food. So when I don't feel like eating, my social life suffers. I want to "stock up" on visits with friends and good meals and hold on to the good vibes for the challenging times ahead.
I am still enjoying my beautiful, oak pollen-free porch and walkway. EK's son TK did a magnficent job of sweeping and bundling up all the oak pollen crap. It was such a mess. I came home yesterday to a pristine walk and 2 huge and heavy bags of oak droppings!
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